The Dangers of ‘Shoulding’ and How to Avoid It

If ever there was a word that was used just before a failed project or an imminent disaster, it’s the word ‘should.’ As a matter of fact, have you ever noticed that you’ve never used the word ‘should’ in a positive light? This is known as ‘shoulding.’

Unfortunately, quite a number of people live with this mentality. ‘I should wake up every morning and get to work.’ Not knowing that by putting the word ‘should’ in the equation, they are referring to the act of getting up in a negative context.

So why is ‘should’ such a dangerous word that leads to a toxic mentality? It’s because the word is strongly associated with a feeling of being forced to do something.

Most of the time, this need to do something usually comes from being forced by an external factor. Perhaps you reason for saying that you should wake up at 5 am in the morning is because you NEED to get to work? Get the drift?

This kind of lifestyle is certainly dangerous. As a matter of fact, here are some of the reasons why the word ‘should’ ought to be avoided completely in your vocabulary.

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A should mentality is dangerous because it comes from a place of self-doubt and a lack of morale

It Shows Half-Heartedness

Whenever you use the word ‘should’ just before doing something, it shows that the morale for doing it doesn’t come from within. Rather, you’re in a state of half-wanting to do it because of the responsibility that it carries.

In fact, that’s one of the major differences between a career and a job. A career is something that inspires you to get up before the alarm even rings every morning. On the other hand, a job highly emphasis the word ‘should’. Even after the alarm rings, you struggle to get out of bed. Your psyche levels are at an all-time low. This half-heartedness is as a result of living by the ‘should’ mentality.

Leads to a Feeling of Procrastination

When you’re procrastinating in life, one of the reasons for this is because you’re living by the ‘should’ mantra. Chances are high that you’re not even doing something that you feel like doing, and hence, you procrastinate. Some fine examples of procrastination that show you are living with a ‘should’ belief.

Have you ever been at work and find yourself tweeting more than getting anything done? Or perhaps you’re on YouTube watching viral videos and providing very little work on the project your manager put on your desk this morning?

Procrastination ties back to the feeling of half-heartedness. You’ll unknowingly find other things more interesting rather than finalize the projects piling on your table.

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Most individuals with a should mentality rarely get anything done and are normally stressed out about their life

Damages Your Work Ethic

You might have been a fan of doing things a certain way in a specific department. Then one day you discover that you’re being transferred to another department. Initially, your work rate was great, and you put a lot of effort in ensuring that all your projects were delivered on time.

However, when you were transferred to the other department, you didn’t like it. Everything’s changed. Perhaps you don’t like the new staff that you’re required to work with. If that’s not enough, the workload has doubled, and even though you’ve gotten a pay hike, the new department wasn’t what you were expecting. Slowly but surely, you develop a ‘should’ mentality. You find it harder and harder to finalize projects in time, as your work ethic has been flawed.

The Quality of Work You Deliver Reduces

Tying to the initial point of work ethic, even if you do manage to get projects done, the quality of work has greatly been reduced. That’s because when you are doing a project with a ‘should’ mentality, you’re not giving it your 100%. Chances are high that you’ll be rushing through virtually every part of the project as you attempt to beat the deadline. If that’s not enough, you’ll probably deliver sub-standard work and might even be told to make revisions on sections of it by your manager.

The Joy Is Sucked out of It

The worst thing about living with a ‘should’ mentality is that you’re never happy about the current position you’re at, even if you’re earning a great salary. That’s why you’ll see people quit what others might imagine was a perfect life, for some of the craziest things such as living on a boat and sailing across the world. The moral story, make it a habit to avoid the word ‘should’ in your vocabulary for a healthier, happier, life.